We're Here So You Can Sleep Soundly At Night

DOTC Employee Resources

Our Mission Statement:

The most recent Census reported that there are more things in this country than people and places put together. This is a Huge number of things. It is more things than most human minds can comprehend.

We here at the DOTC realize that most things are safe, good, and perfectly devoid of evilness. We also understand that though the majority of things are well-adjusted community members, there is a small minority that are tainted, immoral, and downright dangerous to the humans, animals, and other things around them. Our concern here, at the DOTC, is to find, contain, and sometimes exterminate those things that are, by their very being, destroying the morals and lives of the citizens of this country.

The DOTC documents the existence, uses, and status of all things. New things are constantly coming into our world, and it is important that the citizens of this country have a reliable resource to refer to when encountering unknown things. We also have departments dedicated to researching the origins of things, the psychology of things, and human addiction to things. Basically, if its got anything to do with things, its our job to know about it.